Book Review:: You Can't Make Me

Everyone thinks they have a strong willed child. You know, the one who won't do anything you ask them to do or blatantly does something wrong and you think they're doing it just to annoy you.

In my opinion you just have a child.

I do think there are strong willed children (my education has shown me so) but I also think the term is thrown around way to much. It's easier for a parent to say "She's strong willed" than to step up and discipline.

That being said I chose this book because I was interested to explore various parenting strategies. I don't think I have a strong willed child but she does toss food over the side of her high chair no matter what we do...that is a strong willed moment, not a strong willed child, I don't like labels.

Cynthia Ulrish Tobias is an Applied Learning specialist (if you don't know what that means check out her website). She has a series of books designed to help you parent a strong willed child, or just a child in general. In this book, You Can't Make Me [But I can be persuaded], she gives strategies for raising a strong willed child to be the best they can be. In the beginning she describes what a strong willed child is and that it is not a bad thing to have a child who purposely drives you crazy.

"Many parents automatically assume that having a strong willed child is a bad thing...it is a great gift to have a child with firm convictions, a high spirit, and a sense of adventure." Pg. 19.

Tobias also gives ways to help turn conflict around, deal with school and find the perfect career. As well as surviving a meltdown, and what to do when it gets out of control. She also address whether or not strong willed behavior is sin and how to help your child stay on track with right and wrong while still learning to be independent and nurturing their will.

"Your SWC may be God's instrument for making the world a better place"

Pg. 19-20

This book was a struggle for me to read. As I said before I do not like labels, I feel they sometimes (such as this) give an excuse to do whatever it is your think you have. Tobias talks about things she has done, such as not following the rules because she views them as guidelines, and what others have done in their manner. Say what!? No way. Not in my house and not anywhere in the world is it ok not to follow the rules because you don't think they apply to you. If you're raising your child that way...wait, that's not what this review is about. Back to the book. 

Tobias does give great parenting strategies for any child. Some of her suggestions will help you raise an independent child who can take responsibility for their own actions. 

In all, I feel you can find a better book for parenting a strong willed child that doesn't allow them to bend the rules just because you feel their strong willed...

Disclaimer: I received this book from WaterBrook Multnomah for free for this review. All opinions expressed are my own.